


Begin Again

by Smoakingarrow19



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Green Arrow - All Media Types, Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Addiction, Alternative Universe - No Arrow, Arrow Family, Barry Allen & Felicity Smoak Friendship, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Issues, Eventual Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Father-Daughter Relationship, First Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gambling, Goth Felicity Smoak, Hurt Felicity Smoak, Inspired by Fanfiction, John Diggle & Felicity Smoak Friendship, Love, Minor John Diggle/Lyla Michaels, Multi, My First Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak friendship, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak Angst, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak Fluff, POV Felicity Smoak, Past Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, Protective Oliver, Romance, Sara Diggle Exists, True Love, Trust Issues, Work In Progress, Working Out My Feelings Through Fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 02:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12496476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smoakingarrow19/pseuds/Smoakingarrow19
Summary: An alternate reality with Felicity & Oliver. Tragedy struck and Felicity finds herself in the one place she spent years running from. Felicity must face what and who she has been running from. After all, her childhood is what made her who she is today, the good the bad and the ugly. However, returning home is not all doom and gloom for Felicity, this catastrophic event meant she would see her childhood friend, Oliver Queen.





	1. "I need a big move I need a sharp knife I need to cut these scars right out of my life."

**Author's Note:**

> A big thank you to @magda1102 for the beautiful banner. This is a multific & I am still getting used to ao3.  
> Thanks guys,  
> Sara  
> More chapters to come!!!! :)

On this day like any other, Felicity got up to go to work at CatCo in the I.T. department..An overwhelming desire to google her mother’s name would change her life forever. Felicity hadn’t spoken to her mother in two years, and hadn’t seen her since she was 18. In July, it would be marking 5 years since she last saw her mother in person. Felicity knew she should have seen her, but could never face going back there and her mum didn’t like to travel far, so it made meeting up difficult and stressful.

Donna Lillian Smoak: died unexpectedly on May 11th in her home of a cardiac arrest. Felicity read it three times before it sunk in. Her mother, the woman who raised her had died just a day ago. She didn’t know what to do, she hoped it was another Donna Smoak, but she, of all people, knew that it was her. After all, Felicity was a genius and couldn’t be fooled by anyone, including herself. For the first time, Felicity didn’t have a plan. It was like a damn had collapsed on her. What was she to do? Felicity owed everything to her mother. They may have been total opposites but she knew that her mother sacrificed so much in raising her.

Felicity loved her mother but did not always agree with the choices her mom made., in fact her mother’s choices had led her to leave her home town as soon as she turned 18. However, she always felt a slight resentment towards her. Felicity read the name “Donna Lillian Smoak” again, but this time it was different.

Felicity felt as if she was drowning, the memories were overpowering her mind, her brain couldn’t process what was happening quick enough.Walking out of her office, tears streaming down her face, those memories assaulting her, Felicity barely noticed her manager.. It was only when her manager asked what is wrong that she realised she had even moved from her desk. Felicity looked up, and smiled sheepishly: “it is my mother, I need to go, I need to take some time off. She is dead” and in that moment Felicity fell to the floor. The verbal confirmation she had given herself caused her legs to go weak.

Felicity got home around 12pm. She got changed into her comfy leggings and wore the oversized top she bought when she was 17. Before she sat down to distract herself with the latest episode of Grey’s Anatomy and decided to check her voicemails on the landline.

“You have two new messages, first message: Hello Miss Smoak, my name is Barry Allen, I am ringing you to discuss a personal issue and would appreciate it if you could ring me back as soon as possible. Thank you, Miss Smoak. Next message: hello, Felicity, it’s me, Oliver. Give me a ring as soon as you get home. I know we haven’t spoken in a while, but it is important you ring me back. I need to know you’re okay, anyway. Please ring me”.

Felicity found herself unsure of who to ring first. She settled on ringing Mr Barry Allen first. When Barry answered the phone, he knew exactly who she was and started giving his condolences and explained that her mother had died of cardiac arrest, the doctors are still looking for any explanation but it doesn’t look hopeful. Felicity accepted what he was saying. Mr Allen asked Felicity if she could come to his office as soon as possible as there are details about the funeral and her will that they need to discuss. Felicity felt motionless, as if everything around her could move but she herself couldn’t even form words. In what felt like minutes she finally formed the words “I can be there by tomorrow”. Mr Allen thanked her, and suggested she meet with the funeral director first and arrange a meeting with him a few days later.

Trying to process the death of her mother, Felicity stood motionless at the kitchen table with thoughts racing through her mind. She had spent years running away from her home, and had not planned on returning anytime in the foreseeable future. Now she was returning. Once Felicity turned 18, she went to M.I.T and got her degree in computer science and hasn’t looked back since. Obviously, she knew one day she would have to, but she didn’t imagine it would be anytime soon. Yet, here she was, 12:30 racking her brain for where she would stay, how would she get there and would she have to see him. She knew she would, there was no avoiding it. It was inevitable but she knew she couldn’t avoid him forever. After all, it was her mother, she had to go, there was no other choice to make.

*****  
The next morning, Felicity woke up and packed her things. She found herself packing trivial things like clothes, perfume, shoes but oddly she found herself packing her childhood teddy bear her mother gave her when she was born. It was an old scraggly looking thing but she had never found the courage to chuck it out. She then left for the airport, after a 3-hour flight, which felt like a whole eternity to felicity she landed in her hometown of Starling City. She couldn’t tell if she was nervous or not. Even though this place was so familiar to her, it felt like a ghost town to her now. In the taxi looking out the window ghostly memories of her youth flowed over her like a river. Felicity felt nostalgic, but remembered the reason for her visit and what it not only entails but who it involved. Felicity could go her entire life without seeing him. The man who damaged her, ruined her childhood and made her resent her mother.

After Felicity checked into the hotel, she decided to have a shower after all that traveling. With two hours to kill before her appointment at the funeral home, Felicity decided to take a walk. Felicity had never noticed how the funeral home was surrounded by beautiful trees blooming around the building. The beauty would make a perfect Instagram picture but it would be insensitive considering the circumstances. i Today was about her mother, what she would have wanted and remembering her life. Felicity found herself in a room with a woman who looked to be about 5 years older than Felicity making her 29. The woman had brown hair which passed her shoulders, she was a pretty woman who Felicity thought she would probably be  
friends with, had she stayed here all those years ago. The woman introduced herself as “Dinah Laurel Lance”, but insisted on Felicity calling her Laurel. Felicity is almost relieved that is just the two of them, as hard as the situation is, having him here would complicate things. Laurel was a kind woman, she felt she could speak freely about what she wants but also about what her mother would have wanted. They talked about Felicity’s memories of her mother, how she loved flowers and how her favourite one was lilies as they reminded her of her own mother. They then decided that the flowers at her funeral should be lilies, Felicity insisted they would have to be pink, her mother wouldn’t have it any other way. Her mother absolutely adored the colour pink, her mother dressed Felicity in pink clothes every day until Felicity reached her independent stage where Felicity had demanded that she picked her own clothes. Felicity reminisced how Donna had always loved seeing her daughter so independent and would pretend to kick up a fuss when she came down with ridiculous clothing choices, like the time Felicity came down the stairs wearing yellow wellies, a blue skirt, topped with a leopard print t-shirt. Her mum had insisted on taking multiple photographs, which to this day were on the wall in her childhood home. Felicity was traumatized by it but was secretly happy her mother loved her enough to let her make her own silly mistakes.

45 minutes later a time, date. Location and songs were selected. Felicity knew her mum would want ‘dancing queen’ by Abba played. It was her secret vice and it was upbeat just like Donna was, Donna was so bubbly and Felicity wanted her funeral to be a place of happy memories of her mother. The next song Felicity decided she wanted to be played as they leave was ‘Unforgettable’ by Nat King Cole because it was the only song she saw as fitting. They had just started to discuss if Donna should be buried or cremated when Felicity hears the voice that sent her back to her childhood when she would shield her ears with a pillow to avoid that same voice. Felicity heard him walk in but didn’t turn around. She knew why he was late. She always knew why he was late, he had been gambling like he always did. Felicity knew in that moment, that nothing had changed in the time she had gone. That her mother had lied to her, saying he was doing well and hadn’t gambled since she left. Felicity knew in her bones that her mother told her this so she wouldn’t worry. It still didn’t mean she believed it, but she got away from that life for a reason. The burden of trying to get her mother to leave was gone. Donna could leave but chose to stay.  
Felicity’s dad was a tall man, he had piercing blue eyes, people often referred to them as the ‘Kuttler eyes’. He was a slim man, with hair that was wavy and grey now. Last time she saw him, his hair was still brown but that was 5 years ago. He sat down next to Felicity and introduced himself as “Noah Kuttler, Felicity’s father and Donna’s fiancé”. Felicity tried her best not to roll her eyes, but found herself feeling empathetic to this man, the man who she spent so many years trying to avoid. Laurel went through what they had previously discussed about the funeral, and to her surprise Noah had nothing to input or even criticise, he merely just nodded to everything. Once all the funeral arrangement had been set, both Felicity and her father left the building. They exchanged an awkward glance at one another, when Noah said “I am sorry Felicity, I hope one day you can forgive me. If you want to come back to the house, you’re always welcome”. Felicity awkwardly smiled and replied: “I am not ready to hear it; I am here for my mother and not you. We both know you have been gambling before coming here, and do not use my mother’s death as an excuse. It is fine, I am an adult now and it is fine. I will not be going back to the house, thank you for the offer but I have made other arrangements. I suppose I will see you in three days when we see Mr Allen about the will mum left”. With that Noah left, Felicity regretted how she handled that situation, but she was tired, upset and still processing the fact she will never see her mother again. She did not want to deal with her gambling addict father right now. Felicity found herself wishing that they had a different relationship, one which she dreamt of as a little girl. She would see other fathers take their daughters out for trips to fairs, while her father’s idea of a day out was going to the bookies, giving her some sweets and telling her not to tell her mother. Even at a young age Felicity hated lying to her mum, but she knew when she told her mum that they would argue and Felicity hated it when they argued as it could get loud, and sometimes aggressive. As Felicity got older, she would tune out the sounds of her parents yelling at each other. The fact that she considered that her normal made her grow to resent her mother for letting him back time after time. She understood she needed the money, but could never forgive her mother for not putting an end to it all when she was the only one who had the power to do so.

On her way back to the hotel, Felicity decided to get some food from the local supermarket. Felicity gravitated to the pink lily that was placed in between the orange carnations that her nan used to love. Felicity was lost in a world of her own when she heard a sweet voice, one which she hadn’t heard in person in what felt like a lifetime. Her brain was foggy, yet his voice was like light in the dark, pulling her out of her funk. Felicity turned around to see it was him, it was her Oliver. Oliver Queen was standing in front of her, she couldn’t help but tear up. She felt the overwhelming sensation to hug him, which he kindly returned, embracing her body, it felt like they were 15 again. Felicity was so happy to see her best friend, the one person who had been there from day one. Oliver was not only her best friend, he was like her soul mate, he knew everything about her, her family and had never judged her not even for a few terrible mistakes she had made in university. Oliver was the one person who had never left her, and she doubted he would stay in her life, but Oliver had always put the effort in and had never given up on her. Felicity just never felt she was good enough for him.

******

Oliver and Felicity talked for what appeared to be hours, after realising Tesco was not the suitable place for this reunion they headed over to the place they used to go when they were young. As they walked side by side past the familiar landmarks of the countryside, it was then Felicity looked to the right to see the tree, their tree. Both Oliver and Felicity sat down on the grass, looking up at the tree. It hadn’t changed a bit, 5 years on and it still had the ‘F.S & O.Q’ with an arrow underneath engraved in the bark. The memory of that day comes flooding back, how they decided that an arrow was the best symbol to use, an arrow must be pulled back before it can move forward. At the time, they discussed for hours on a picnic blanket about how an arrow was the perfect symbol for their lives, Felicity had already overcome so much and Oliver knew letting her go would be the hardest task he would ever have to face. Yet, as she discussed her future, he did not once tell her how he truly felt, how he wanted to go with her, be there to see her as her best self, see her graduate and spend the rest of his life with her. Instead, they carved into the willow tree and after walked along to beach and said their goodbyes. Oliver knew he had to let her go to let her become the woman he believed in, and that person didn’t need him. So, they shared a passionate kiss and he watched her leave to finish the last of her packing. The image of Felicity elegantly walking away, wind rushing through her long, blonde hair and turning around to blow him a kiss, played in his head for 5 years, every day dream and every nightmare is plagued by that image, Felicity leaving and him letting her go without telling her how he truly feels about her.

As Felicity’s hands wandered, almost investigating the battered engraved bark,tears fell from her beautiful blue eyes. Until she felt Oliver’s soft, gentle hands she did not realize she was crying. His eyes, as blue as the ocean, were staring back at her, but she felt so helpless. She felt like the 16 year old broken girl once again. It was then, as if Oliver knew what she was thinking, he pulled her in for a hug, tight but loose enough not to overwhelm her. In that magical moment, in the midst of grief and bad memories, that she finally admitted to herself that she was and always has been in love with Oliver Queen.. The connection after 5 years felt no weaker than it had the day they met. Oliver pulled back to see her eyes, he had always done that when Felicity couldn’t communicate with words, which for the most part wasn’t that often, Felicity loved to talk and babble. However, he was the only person who truly knew her, knew that her eyes gave away her real feelings away every time. Felicity had learnt at a young age that if she put on a fake smile and babbled that people wouldn’t see the pain underneath. For the most part, this defence mechanism worked but Oliver had always seen through her charade. It was then Felicity allowed herself to break down and show all the feelings and raw emotions regarding her mother’s death and her father’s appearance. Felicity had cried already for her mum, for the loss and the regrets but it hadn’t been anything like this. Right now, Felicity was in pain and all her composure had gone. Yet, Oliver held her tight, picked her up and placed her on his lap. He didn’t say a word, letting her cry for however long she needed, while holding her close, so she could feel safe.

Felicity remained in Oliver’s embrace, placing her head on his chest listening to his heartbeat. It had hit her like a tonne of bricks, the reality of everything, her being home, with Oliver and her mother’s passing. Felicity wiped away the last tear and started to speak. However, before she had time Oliver was already interrupting her saying “don’t, do not apologise, do not thank me. Not for this”.

Felicity acknowledged what he said, realising he knew her almost better than she knew herself. Instead Felicity lost herself in his eyes, those sapphire blue eyes would be her undoing, she knew this and still she remained oblivious to the world for what felt like minutes.

It was then she said “Oliver, I need you to know. I love you, I... uh… always have”. Felicity was shocked she said those words out loud, not only out loud but to Oliver.

Her brain was going haywire, then suddenly his lips met hers, the kiss was filled with nostalgia, with a sense of being home. Then, he opened his mouth asking her for entrance, and she gladly let him, their tongues met doing a familiar dance from all those years go, however, the passion and excitement was much more intense now. Felicity panicked as he pulled back, what she thought was him going to apologise for the encounter was something completely unexpected. Oliver finally said those words he was afraid of all those years ago.

Oliver took her face in his hands and said: “Felicity Smoak, I have loved you for as long as I can remember. The day you left, a part of me died inside. I didn’t tell you back then as I knew it was selfish of me. I didn’t want you to be held back by me. I needed you to live your life without your past shadowing or holding you back. But Felicity, I am hoping for a second chance, please forgive me for my mistake all those years ago?”

Felicity felt tears welling up, she hadn’t prepared for any of this. She thought all those years ago that he would move on, that Oliver would find a leggy, rich model and forget about her. How wrong she was, all Felicity could say was: “I am sorry too. Oliver, I love you and how can I be mad at you? You are my always Oliver.”

******

Oliver and Felicity found that things weren’t as complicated as they thought they would be. In the days leading up to the funeral, they found themselves constantly together. Oliver would accompany Felicity on any, and all arrangements regarding the funeral. They found themselves naturally gravitating to Oliver’s place after each of the day’s events. The night before Donna Smoak’s funeral, Oliver asked Felicity out to dinner, which Felicity happily accepted. The table was booked at the town’s newest restaurant called “Overwatch”, Oliver managed to get a booking this late in advance after pleading with the owner John Diggle explaining why he needed to go. After meeting John Diggle a few years ago they quickly became best friends. Oliver told Diggle stories about Felicity so Diggle felt like he already knew her. As soon as Oliver mentioned it was for Felicity, John couldn’t set up a table fast enough. John knew what Felicity being back meant to Oliver and in secret John has been praying for this day to come. John would never admit it to Oliver, but he is team Olicity all the way.

Oliver arrived at 6:40 when the table was booked for 7pm, John walked over to greet Oliver and just gave him a smirk that conveyed his humour at the situation. Oliver, who was late to everything, was actually not only on time, was in fact early for his date with Felicity and John knew there and then that he would not stop until Oliver and Felicity were at the altar saying “I do”. He would do anything to see his friend happy and won’t stop until he sees this through.

Felicity walked into the room, her curly blonde locks were clipped so that they fell over her left shoulder, her red dress was elegant, classy but also the most beautiful and seductive dress he ever saw. Oliver couldn’t take his eyes off her, his jaw was practically on the floor. It was only when Diggle nudge him did he close it. Felicity opted to wear her contact lenses with minimal and natural make up, it took everything within Oliver not to run over to her and whisk her away right there.

Felicity ordered the spaghetti bolognaise while Oliver ordered the steak and chips, Oliver proceeding to purchase the most expensive bottle of Merlot Felicity had ever tasted in her life. After both were on their second glasses of red wine, Oliver sheepishly smiled while looking at Felicity. Felicity didn’t feel like she needed to fill the comfortable silence , which for her was a little unprecedented. They start talking about the little things, how Oliver’s parents are and most importantly how Oliver’s little sister is and what she is doing. Thea used to run around after Oliver when she was as little as three years of age, therefore acquiring her lifelong nickname of “Speedy”. Oliver used to pretend to Felicity and Tommy that he was angered by her presence, but they both knew he secretly loved having his little sister around. Oliver, at that time would never have admitted it, but he loved being her big brother. Felicity once walked in on Oliver reading Thea a bedtime story. Oliver was so shocked that he threw the book across the room which was also the direction of Felicity, hitting her right in the stomach. instantly running to her side apologising. Instead of being angry, Felicity just said “Queen, you need to treat your books with respect or I will have to punish you”. Thea burst out laughing, her laugh was contagious. Soon the three of them were on Thea’s bed in giggling fits. That night, both Oliver and Felicity read ‘Matilda’ by Roald Dahl to Thea, who was fast asleep two chapters in. It was then, Oliver realised Felicity was not only a friend, but the most important person in his life.

After dinner, they decided they were both too drunk to drive. So they decided to walk the scenic route along the beach in order to get to Oliver’s home. As Felicity looked out at the waves crashing along the rocks, she noticed the sun was setting. So, she tugged at Oliver’s arm and looked at him with those blue eyes that he adored asking if they can just sit for a while. As they sat on the bench, Oliver’s arm wrapped around her protectively watching the sunset. As if no time, yet all the time in the world had gone by Felicity felt like she was 17 again. As they cuddled, Oliver noticed Felicity tearing up. Instead of commenting, he gave her a tighter grip and looked at her with his blue eyes full of love. In that moment, Felicity let her guard down completely. She trusted him and could see something she has never seen with any other man, a future, a family and a life. Then as if Oliver was reading her mind, he said nervously twiddling his thumbs together: “Fe-li-ci-ty.. I will always be with you. I know how hard this is for you. I am here and you can lean on me”.


	2. "You're tied together with a smile... but you're coming undone".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to @magda1102 for the beautiful banner.  
> I think I am slowly getting better at this ao3 thing.  
> More chapters to come over the coming weeks.  
> Thank you guys!  
> Sara
> 
> Check out my fanvideo's if you want:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1sWwj86PqM  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9fpHABgXXk&t=4s

 

 **Chapter 2**  
  
Felicity was up at the crack of dawn this morning, she tossed and turned all night with the hopes of getting some sleep, but had no such luck. Oliver had not complained once, only giving her light, encouraging touches to reassure her of his presence. To say this was a day Felicity was dreading is an understatement. Oliver was the first to get out of bed and shower to prepare himself for Donna’s funeral at 11am. Felicity merely put the blankets over her head and for the first time in her life, she felt nothing. She felt completely and utterly lost. Nothing could prepare her for the day that lies ahead of her. Felicity lay in bed, her body motionless, her brain telling her to get up and at least make a coffee. But Felicity felt paralysed. Even when Oliver returned to the room, Felicity couldn’t move a muscle, she didn’t even blink when he sat beside her in his fluffy towel she likes to poke fun of. Oliver sat there, he grasped at her hand. Felicity could feel his hands were warm, strong but it wasn’t enough to stop her emotional paralysis.  
  
  
“Felicity, love. I am not going to even pretend to fathom what this is like for you. What it is you are going through right now. However, in this moment I see in your eyes that you are terrified, because this is not just a funeral. This is the point where you must say goodbye, get closure if you will. I know you. As much as this day is going to suck, you know that if you don’t go, that it will be like the mystery that bugs you, because not attending is like not solving it.”  
  
Oliver squeezed her hand a little tighter. Felicity was motionless at first, but then she sat up and Oliver put his hand to caress her face, she leaned into it. Then got up, went into the section of the wardrobe Oliver had set up for her stay and stared at her basic black dress or the bright pink one with girly thrills. There was no decision to make, this was the last thing she would do for her mother. The pink dress was put on her bed ready to change into. Donna Smoak was a bottle of pop, everybody loved her, and the men liked the dressed she wore. This dress was right up Donna’s alley and that is why Felicity decided this was the dress. Felicity turned around and looked at Oliver, he gave her an encouraging smile as she headed into the shower.  
  
15 minutes later Felicity went back into Oliver’s bedroom. He knew he had gotten dressed too early, but he didn’t know what to do with all his nervous energy. This day was important to Felicity and to him and he wanted his surprise to go well. Felicity had regained her thoughts during her shower, she was no longer resembling a lifeless robot but herself, granted a very sad and broken version. The moment she saw Oliver she couldn’t control her mouth: “wow, you look… umm… I shouldn’t say this under the circumstances…” *biting her lower lip* “but you look so hot right now”. Oliver chuckled at her, even on a day like today, Felicity couldn’t help her brain to mouth filter and he loved it. Giving her a chaste kiss on the lips, he slaps her bum telling her to get a move on. The atmosphere no longer smothered Felicity, thanks to Oliver, Felicity no longer felt trapped or alone. She had Oliver and hand in hand they headed to the funeral home.  
  
  
***********  
  
Felicity didn’t want one of the Hearse funeral cars, she did not fancy ordering two separate cars because she didn’t particularly want to ride with her father. Granted, if he had asked for one, she would have done so, for her mother’s sake. Luckily for her that crisis was avoided, and she followed the horse and carriage with her mother’s casket in. They pulled up to the Lancealot Funeral home in Oliver’s convertible. He opened her car door, holding out his left hand for her to take, almost like he knew she needed his support. As Felicity looked at the Funeral homecoming to the realisation that the name was a play on the last name “Lance”. She then realised that Laurel must be the Laurel, as in Sara’s sister. Sara, was her best friend from school, and her family owned this company and she was oblivious to it the entire time.  
  
  
Felicity and Oliver walk hand in hand to the front, taking a seat. Once everyone has taken a seat, Dancing Queen starts to play as the pall bearers carry Donna Smoak’s coffin down the aisle. Once the song finishes, her father walks in and sits amongst the crowd. Oliver felt her tense up and immediately put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his side.  
  
  
The Vicar takes his place on the stand:  
“Donna Smoak, wife, mother and friend. Donna was a wonderful woman, who was loved by everyone who knew her. She had a wicked sense of humour and you couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear, whenever you were in her presence. Donna leaves behind her daughter, Felicity. Donna spoke highly about her intelligent daughter, using any excuse she could get to talk about her. Donna loved Felicity more than anyone could imagine. From the moment she brought Felicity home, she told me she knew that Felicity would grow up to be a remarkable person and that she would endure anything to see Felicity live up her potential. That is exactly what Donna did. Donna worked in many professions, as most of you know. When she was a single mother living in Vegas she moonlit as a cocktail waitress. Donna was not proud of her job. However, she was proud that it meant that she could offer her daughter a decent life at that time. Donna wanted what was best for Felicity and did everything in her power to offer her that. That alone is a testament to the type of character Donna Smoak was. As we all mourn the loss of the kind and selfless Donna, remember, Donna would not want her loved ones to cry, but would want you to live on and think of her occasionally. A golden heart stopped beating, but she will forever live on”.  
  
Felicity hadn’t read the Vicar’s eulogy prior to the funeral, she couldn’t handle it and thankfully Oliver had offered to read it for her. She had trusted his judgement and she was glad that she did. Felicity looked towards the Coffin with the picture of Donna and just let the Vicar’s words settle in. All her memories of Vegas had come flooding back to her. She remembered the day when Donna told her she was getting back with her father. Felicity had been young, she wanted that, but it was now she realised why Donna had done it. That was the moment Donna officially sacrificed her own life to try to make Felicity’s better.  
  
  
Felicity looked up at the Vicar, her face tear stained and red, and she gave him a smile, trying to convey her gratitude. His eulogy gave her a sense of peace she was not ever expecting to get. She could breathe again, she understood why her mum brought her father back all those years ago, it may not have worked but she no longer resented her mother. Felicity finally forgave Donna.  
  
  
Felicity thought it was nearing the end of the service, she was expecting the final song and goodbyes. However, the Vicar gave Oliver a nod. Felicity was convinced she was dreaming when the Vicar announced, “In honour of Donna’s memory, Oliver Queen has comprised a video and picture montage of the late Donna Smoak. The video you will see are clips that Oliver has captured over the many years of being around Donna and his daughter.” Felicity turned to Oliver, he gave her a sheepish look telling her: “I wanted it to be a surprise”. Felicity could no longer control her emotions, the floodgates of tears opened. Oliver just held her and wiped her eyes whispering sweet nothings in her ear while she repeated incoherent “thank yous”. Felicity just looked at Oliver in awe, this surprise filled her heart with joy. She felt in that moment if she loved him anymore, her heart may break. The moment Oliver gave the Vicar the final nod to go ahead, the video started to play.  
  
  
The first clip was when Oliver and Felicity were 7 years old, they were in the garden and Donna had walked out to put the washing on the line. Felicity was arguing with her mother about how she is trying to embarrass her in front of Oliver. Oliver was secretly filming from the play house and Donna takes one look at her daughter and says “coming from the girl who is half dressed as a dragon and the other half as a magician. Think you got that covered on your own hun”. Felicity walks off directly in front of the camera and Oliver’s view with a face like thunder shouting “I will get you for this”. The entire crowd at the service chuckled.  
  
  
The video went on to show the pictures Oliver had taken over the years, from Felicity’s birthday parties, days out and days in the house, consisting of the humorous antics of Donna. Felicity was surprised to see a video of her mother which she was not in. Donna was in the kitchen pottering away, she was aware Oliver was filming, similar to a documentary. It was where Donna was telling Oliver at 16 that she always thought he was a lovely boy, and that she could tell he cared for Felicity very much. Donna is talking to him about the future and the life she had before Felicity, and that she never wanted that life for her. Oliver and her converse more about how Felicity is going to be someone, and neither of them would ever hold her back. Then the clip goes off, showing the final images of Donna Smoak.  
  
  
The vicar pressed play, as they stand up ‘Unforgettable’ begins. Felicity walks over to the coffin, placing her single pink rose on top. Oliver follows behind her. Hand placed on her back, not giving her a chance to doubt he is right beside her, Oliver places his rose next to Felicity’s and whispers something in the direction of the picture of Donna placed on her coffin. Felicity cannot understand what he said, but with her emotions on the fritz she walks out enclosed in his arms as she cries for the loss of her mother.  
  
  
*************   
  
  
Felicity was shocked by the amount of people who turned up. There were still mounds of people turning up to have a drink to the life of Donna Smoak. She knew her mother had a lot of friends, but this was ridiculous. It was a full house as Donna would say back in her Vegas days. Every person walked over to her and told Felicity a story of her mother, one they needed to tell, to help them more than for Felicity’s sake. Felicity understood this and let every single person continue. No matter how much it broke her heart, Felicity endured their happy, sad and funny stories.  
  
  
Oliver pulled her closer towards him when Quentin Lance came up to her. He may be the funeral director, but he also knew Donna Smoak, they were childhood sweethearts and more importantly, best friends. Thinking of how his daughter, Sara and Felicity were born in the same year and how the girls were the best gift to both Quentin and Donna. Donna may have made a lot of poor decisions in her life, but Felicity was never one of them. Quentin told the story about Felicity and Sara, when they went to go camping in Oliver’s back garden. Which essentially was the equivalent to a forest in the eyes of nine-year old’s. Felicity remembered her mum encouraging her to go and be “outdoorsy” and Felicity wanted to show that she could go one night in a tent. What Felicity didn’t know was Quentin and Donna had a bet that there would be a phone call at 11pm latest begging for Felicity to come home, giving Sara a way out too.  
  
  
“Felicity, love, your mum knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes. She said before you even left that your fear of a kangaroo coming for you would be too overwhelming and you would be home an hour before midnight”. With that, Quentin gave her the best smile he could muster and a sympathetic hug. Oliver, could see her hands shaking and that she was too overwhelmed. Pulling her aside he asks her: “do you want to go home? You do not need to stay. No one expects you to listen to these stories which are upsetting you. You know you don’t owe anyone anything, right?” Felicity stared at him and replied with a shaky voice: “can we take a timeout for a few seconds? I want to go back and listen to their stories. Everyone here is grieving, though it may not be the same pain as me, to them it is just as painful, and if telling me their stories helps them I want to give that to them. All I ask from you, is that you hold my hand, so I know I have my life boat. Please?” All Oliver could do was smile and pull her in for a hug, even in the midst of all her pain. Felicity still wanted to help other people. His heart grew at least ten times bigger in that moment filled with awe and pride for this woman before him. She was remarkable in every single way. Felicity was surprised by how many stories she had never heard before, but the stories her friends told about her mother before Felicity was born were her favourite. Hearing how wild her mother was just made her happy, at least for a few seconds, and with Oliver’s hands intertwined amongst her own, she knew she was alright.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading my first ever attempt at a story.  
> I have one chapter already completed. The next 2 I have the plan sorted but need to sit down and actually write it.  
> I am hoping to get my Psych assignments done ASAP so I can focus on chapters 4 & 5.  
> So, I promise there will be more chapters but cannot say a definite time frame.
> 
> Seriously, the fact my first chapter reached over 1000 hits means so much.  
> I wrote this thinking no one would ever read it. So just, thank you!
> 
> Feel free to contact me :  
> Tumblr: SmoakingArrow19  
> Twitter: Iamsara97  
> Tumblr: turnupthemusicandscream


	3. If this is love please don't break me. I'm giving up so just catch me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity has some hard things to wrap her head around and having to deal with her father is not helping.   
> The chapter deals with gambling addiction and the affects of those around the addict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to @magda1102 for the beautiful banner. This is a multific & I am still getting used to ao3.  
> Thanks guys,  
> Sara  
> More chapters to come!!!! :)

  
  


**Chapter 3**.

 

The funeral was over, the burden of her seeing her father had brought up her repressed memories, causing them to resurface.  Felicity was exhausted and stayed at Oliver’s. Their bodies were entwined on the sofa watching Felicity’s show of choice, Grey’s Anatomy. As Oliver stroked her head, breathing her in. Felicity looked up at him.

 

“Oliver, I am so scared. My mom was my support even though we may not have always agreed, I miss her.  I don’t know how to be me without her.” Oliver sees the tears on her face, the breaths coming faster, her chest rising and falling in fear.  His hand lays against her chest feeling her heart beating rapidly.  


“I am here with you, Felicity. You are not alone.  No matter what you need I will provide it,” Oliver assures her softly as he places her hand on his chest to get her to slow her breathing down.  


“That is not all I am afraid of, Oliver.  My relationship with my father made me feel unwanted and abandoned”.  Every time he disappeared Felicity felt like she was too blame, she did something wrong, that he did not want her.  “What if I am too damaged from my past to have a normal healthy relationship?  I love you more than life itself but what if that is not enough due to my insecurity and fear?”  Not being able to look him in the eyes to see the disappointment, she drops her head.  Oliver takes his finger lifting her head up.  


“Do you remember the very first time we made love?  You told your mother that it was either you or your father.  You told me you were a horrible person for wanting him gone.  You tried to understand your mom’s reasons but you still resented her for her choices.  You cried after we talked.  I lifted your head up and kissed you because I loved you.  I loved you then and I love you now.  Don’t give up on that love when we finally found each other.”  Oliver kissed her laying her down showing her how much she means to him.  


“I am not your dad, Felicity and I never will be.  I will always be here for you.  You are not getting away from me ever again.  Go to Bali with me.”  Oliver tells her as he holds her naked body against his.  


“I would go anywhere with you,” Felicity whispers into his skin.  


As Felicity is drifting to sleep, she recalls when she was 23 and dating Ray Palmer, she had told her mother about him and they had skyped a few times. But this time, Donna could tell in her voice something was wrong. Eventually, she caved explaining how Ray told her he loved her to which, she didn’t reply and responded with she needs to go and get ice cream. Donna didn’t say a thing for a minute.  She later responded with, “do you know why you couldn’t say it back?” Felicity didn’t respond “because you’re still in love with Oliver hun”.  Even miles away, her mum knew her better than almost anyone. Her mum, for all her flaws knew Oliver was the only one for her. That is how she will choose to remember her mother. She, no longer cast any blame to her mother, a weight was lifted and in that moment, Felicity finally felt free and that she is going to be okay. With that she finally fell asleep.

 

*******

The next morning, Oliver accompanied Felicity to visit Barry Allen the lawyer who was dealing with Donna Smoak’s will.

Felicity and Oliver rang the doorbell, instantly they are greeted by a tall, pretty woman. The woman resembled someone from a magazine cover, the woman holds out her left hand for them to shake.  
“Hello, you must be Felicity Smoak. Now, who is this handsome man accompanying you? Sorry, how forward of me, I am Iris West-Allen. Please, follow me and I shall lead you to my husband Barry.”

 

Felicity laughs and almost immediately Oliver responds, “I am Oliver, Oliver Queen. I am a friend of Felicity’s. I hope it is okay that I am here”.

 

“Of course, don’t be silly. You are always welcome here Mr Queen”.   Then Iris leans in to Felicity and lowering her voice, so Oliver cannot hear: “He is a keeper, if I wasn’t married I would be after him”. Iris gives Felicity a wink and starts to lead the way to Mr Allen’s office.

 

Felicity walks into the office, it was not what she was expecting, the walls were neutral alike any other office. However, the floating shelves had comic book characters placed on them. Felicity noticed that Barry is a huge fan of the Flash within 2.5 seconds. Felicity couldn’t explain it, but seeing the office helped put her nerves at bay.

 

“Take a seat Miss Smoak, I am sure Iris has already introduced herself. I am Barry Allen, we spoke briefly on the phone not so long ago. Both of you please take a seat”.

 

Barry reached out his hand and both Oliver and Felicity shook it before taking their seats. Felicity sat in the rounded, beige seat next to Barry and Oliver instinctively sat to the left of her, placing his hand on her lower back.

 

“Felicity, I am sure you would prefer to be anywhere else than here. Which I completely understand. However, I am not like most lawyers, I am genuinely interested in my clients and their families wishes. I hope you do not mind me asking, but how did Donna’s funeral go?”

 

Felicity tells Barry how the funeral went perfectly; the priest did an amazing and thoughtful job. “All that aside, the funeral was everything my mum could have hoped for. However, the icing on the cake was the video, this one here surprised us all with. Oliver made a video montage which was filled with pictures and videos of Donna. Ones which I had never seen. It was honestly so beautiful, and I wish you had seen it. Umm… before we officially get to business could I please use the restrooms?”

 

“Of course, Miss Smoak, if you head out the door, bear right and you will see my lovely wife, she will give you better directions than I could. This place is like a maze. Even I still get lost. I am sure Iris will be more than happy to help.”

 

Felicity left the room, the happy atmosphere leaving with her.

 

“Mr Queen, as Felicity is no longer here, I think I should bring this up to not tread on anyone’s toes. I am aware, from what Donna told me, that Felicity and her father have an estranged relationship. What can you tell me about this? Will Noah Kuttler be joining us today?”

 

“Call me Oliver, Mr Queen was my father. Well, I am not sure how much you already know. However, Noah is a gambling addict and he is not a very nice man as the addiction plays on his negative qualities. Granted, he can be and was once a nice man. But Felicity saw his real side too often in her youth and I guess you can say she felt helpless, so she controlled the only thing she could. Their relationship, or well, lack of one.  I know, it is a lot to ask but could you be careful and considerate with any talk about Noah? Her mother’s death has hit her hard. Felicity may appear to be holding it together, but she isn’t sleeping, she thinks I don’t notice but I see she is struggling emotionally with everything.”

 

“Ah, I see, well, everything that is said in this room stays here. Noah will not find out anything that goes on here, besides idol gossip which goes around. I will do my best to steer away from Noah Kuttler as much as possible. Due to the circumstances he is going to come up in topic, but I will do my best to be as sensitive as possible.”

 

“Thank you, Barry. That really means a great deal to me”.

 

“I hope you do not find this inappropriate but are you and Felicity together?”

 

Oliver is stumped, they haven’t discussed if they are together officially. With everything that has been going on Oliver hasn’t wanted to bother her with idle talk of their relationship. It wouldn’t be fair to burden her with that. He knows what he hopes and what he wants, but he isn’t about to put Felicity in a potential uncomfortable position.

 

Oliver then replies with: “If I am honest, we haven’t discussed this yet. I love her, and when she is ready I will bring it up. For now, though, I am happy to be there for her.”

 

“Oliver, all I can tell you is that if you love her, you need to be patient. I do not believe you ever truly get over losing a parent. Yes, you learn how to continue with your life, but not ever get over it. Felicity will struggle, she will hurt, and she will grieve. However, I can tell you that she will get there, but it will take time. Right now, Felicity needs support and love. Even more so if her father is not able to give it to her. In times like this it can either make, or break a family. However, in this dynamic I can see by the way she looks at you that it is you she needs support from”.

 

“Thank you for being upfront with me. Not many people are, downside of being a Queen I suppose. I will do everything within my power to help her. That I can promise you.”

 

Felicity returns with Iris at her side. Both girls take a seat.

 

Once everyone has taken their seats, Barry steers the conversation to a place of business. Felicity is glad, the sooner this starts the sooner it ends, so to speak.

 

“As you are aware, we are here to discuss the late Donna Lilian Smoak’s last will and testament, which was last updated 4 years ago. Donna has written that she would like me, Mr Bartholomew Allen to be the executor of the will. The last amendments on the will and testament was written when Felicity was 20, therefore Donna did not provide spousal custody agreements as these arrangements were unnecessary. Donna has left all her assets to Miss Felicity Megan Smoak. Furthermore, Felicity is to inherit all family heirlooms, money from all bank accounts named under Donna Lilian Smoak”.

 

Felicity is in a state of shock, Oliver can sense her discomfort and instantly puts his arm around her, while the other hand is holding her hand.

 

“Would you like me to pause for a bit Miss Smoak? I understand that this is a lot to take in and you probably weren’t expecting all this. If you need some time, you take it.”

 

“Felicity, not Miss Smoak. Please just call me Felicity, Miss Smoak sounds too informal. Thank you, but I would like to continue at full speed. There is no point dragging out the inevitable any longer than I already have. But thank you, I really do appreciate it”.

 

With that, Barry continued. “We have discussed a fair portion of your mother's will. However, I am aware that you and your father have an estranged relationship, and I am aware he lives in that house. Which may cause some issues about this agenda. Your mother has left you the house as her sole heir. Your mother stated on all her previous wills that you would always inherit the house, she grappled with the decision many times in my office. Donna always knew she wanted it to go to you, but she was uncertain about the fallout, her decision was easy, but she knew that she would not be dealing with the after effects. The decision of what to do with the property is entirely your choice. I cannot stress this enough.”

 

Felicity couldn’t comprehend what she was just told. Her mother had left her all the shares in the property. Felicity had always assumed it would go 50/50 or 60/40 to her. Never had she thought she would inherit the full 100%. Felicity always assumed that Noah would have shares in everything. She knew that her mother had always paid the house bills, but when Noah was earning, Donna would expect him to contribute, but it was always in Donna’s name.  


The shock finally starts to subside, which brings Felicity to the realisation that once Noah gets wind of this, he is going to cause a riot. Leaving her once again uncertain of what to do. She felt as if she was on a chess board, playing to win but finding herself trapped.

 

Felicity’s internal struggle was put to a halt when Barry explains: “Felicity, I am aware right now that you are just trying to process the information I have given. As the executor of the will, I will sort out her last remaining debts. I will do everything within my power to respect and uphold your mother’s wishes. All I ask, is that you have a think about what you would like to do with the house and I will do whatever is required once your decision is made”.

 

Felicity stands up, not breathing a word. She is still surrounded by her little bubble that she cannot escape. All her thoughts and feelings, trapped in her own mind. She doesn’t even realise she is walking out the door until she hears Oliver wishing Iris and Barry all the best.

 

Felicity turns to Barry “Thank you for this. I will be in touch. Thank you”.

 

Next thing Felicity knows she is engulfed by Iris’ hug. Iris whispers into her ear:

“You need anything, just let me know. Once the storm dies down I hope we can go on a double date. I think we would be great friends”.

 

With Oliver’s arm wrapped around her waist, they bid their final goodbyes and embarked on their walk to Felicity’s haven, Oliver’s house.

 

*******  


Felicity doesn’t remember how she got there, just that she is now staring at Oliver’s front door. Had she noticed that his door was an oak colour before? Has she even payed attention to the fact it Is exactly 6 steps until you reach the front door. Probably not, she knew she was only paying this close attention to these trivial things because she’s still in shock.

 

Oliver unlocks the door, they walk through to the living room.

 

“Fe-li-ci-ty, you haven’t spoken the whole walk home. Make yourself comfortable on the sofa, and I will bring a cup of coffee in, and we will do whatever you want, whatever you need”.

 

All Felicity could muster was a simple head nod, she then perched herself on the sofa. Holding one of the cushions in her hands.  


Oliver returned holding Felicity’s favourite mug. The one she bought Oliver from M.I.T and sent him years ago, taking the coffee from him she takes a sip. Oliver takes a seat next to her, pulling her legs on his lap and placing a fluffy blanket over her.

 

“Felicity, hun. I am going to ask something you may not like, but please just say anything? Shout, scream, cry, just use your words because right now I am terrified. What are you thinking about? your dad? the estate? Please talk to me.”

 

Felicity looked him in the eyes, she could drown in the crystal blue waters of his iris’. With a deep breath, Felicity finally talks.

 

“Honestly, I am worried. I have run through at least a dozen scenarios in my head of how it will play out when Noah catches on. Not one scenario in my head ended well. I don’t know if there’s any way that this won’t cause an argument. The moment he finds out, he will be out for blood. The only saving grace, is that Noah thinks I am still at that stupid hotel, buying me extra time. It won’t take him long before he connects the dots and realises I am here, with you”.

 

“I am here, let him come here. If I am around he will not touch you. This is your decision and you decide what you want, not him”.

 

“I… uhh… think that I don’t want it. The house I mean. I know I don’t want to live there, there are too many painful memories lurking in the walls in each room. I am very much aware he will not be able to afford the bills, even without a mortgage to put into consideration. It is not like he is a reliable occupant, he hasn’t got a good credit score and hasn’t got a guaranteed income. To be truthful, I do not want to have a tie to him like that, I do not want the responsibility to fall on me”.

 

Oliver asks in a low voice: “What if you sold the house?”

 

“I think that is what I want to do. Then, I can use a portion of the money to fund a flat for Noah. That way he won’t be on the streets and if I do a direct debit, mum would be paying. Even though he isn’t a nice person, I can’t throw him out on the streets, he deserves a home. My mum wouldn’t want me to be vengeful”.

 

Oliver smiles at her and opens his arms for her to crawl in for a cuddle. Felicity instantly gravitates towards him, placing her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. Reminding her how thankful she is to have Oliver with her.

 

Oliver’s arms are wrapped around her, his hand gently fondling her blonde locks. Felicity looks up at him, leaning in for a kiss. Oliver returned the kiss, his lips instantly finding hers, in that moment they both felt whole, as if nothing else mattered. Felicity placed her head back on his chest, and could feel the day’s events catching up to her, how exhausted she was. As she laid in his arms, drifting into oblivion, half asleep whispering “I love you”.  Oliver kissed the top of her head. He was tired but would wait for Felicity to fall asleep before he would give in to his slumber.

 

“I love you more”.

 

*****

 

Four days later.

 

Felicity is in the study, emailing her boss the work she had managed to do. Her boss was not expecting Felicity to do any work, however Felicity is not one for being idle. As she sends the documents to her boss via email, she hears a banging on the front door.

 

Felicity walks through the hall opening the door. It was him. Her father had finally found her.

The first thing Felicity could think to say was, “Oliver will be back in 5 minutes, he has only gone to the supermarket. So, I suggest you speak fast and not do anything stupid.”

 

As if that is all the invitation he needs, he starts yelling abuse at her.

“You didn’t even see your own mother for years, you’re a selfish bitch. How did you get everything, and I got nothing? The house should have been mine, I put all the money into that house. You get everything”.

 

Felicity was uncomfortable, but she knew that the moment she shows him that she is vulnerable he will take the opportunity to intimidate her. So, Felicity put on her strong voice and stood tall.

 

“Firstly, you have gambled more money than you ever put in. I did not ask for this, so change your tone or I will phone the police. We both know, it wouldn’t be the first time”.

 

Noah started clenching his fists in anger, Felicity could tell he was angrier than he has been in years. Unfortunately, she knew this version of Noah too well, Felicity is hoping Oliver would be back soon.

 

Noah practically screamed at her, “I hate you”.

 

Returning from the store, Oliver hears Noah’s angry voice.  Dropping the shopping bags, Oliver sprints to Felicity’s side sensing her anxiety. Oliver barges past Noah, placing himself in front of Felicity, trying to shield her from the impact of his vicious and vulgar words.

 

Noah continues ranting on about how Felicity left for years and she got everything when he was the one who stayed.

 

“Even when she didn’t have a job. I STAYED! NOT YOU! You didn’t support her. I went to work every day.”

 

Oliver cuts in right there with a stern look.  


“You have no right to be here. Felicity is your daughter, or have you forgotten that? This was not her choice but Donna’s. Donna loved her daughter and knew what you are like. If this came as a shock for you, then you are more delusional and self-centred than I thought. It is Felicity’s choice what she will do with the house and her inheritance, you will not bully her into doing what you want her to do. You will never bully her or make her feel inferior again! You got that! So, if I was you I would start talking to your daughter with a bit of respect. If I see you raise your fists at her one more time, I will not be held responsible for my actions. If you want a non-heated discussion you are welcome to come in and stay. Otherwise you can leave”.

 

Felicity didn’t even know what to say. Oliver had been here for a few seconds and he had already made Noah feel uncomfortable and had managed to get him to calm down. Felicity always knew her dad found it harder to confront men than women, but she had never seen him cower like this before.

 

Felicity stood there, she had tried to remain strong and keep what control she has left. Her father being in the same very room was threatening her control and composure. She felt like she was 8 years old again, wanting to flee from the scene of the crime. The loud noises, the banging and the fear. This time though, this was her fight and she will have to rise to the occasion.

 

Noah didn’t respond to Oliver’s ultimatum. He merely shook his head. It was obvious he was terrified of Oliver and Felicity knew that he wouldn’t be stupid enough to do anything with him present. Felicity was grateful Oliver came when he did, she didn’t really think her dad would hurt her, but he had a bad temper and his violent outburst did have her worried.

 

Oliver grabbed Felicity’s hand, Felicity knew this was not a romantic hand grab but a protective one. Felicity walked in front with Oliver behind her, and Noah behind him to the living room. Oliver sat on the two-seater sofa with Felicity opposite Noah on the other sofa.

 

As Oliver caressed her thumb, Felicity finally worked up the nerve and confidence to say what she needed to say.

 

“I know we do not get along. I don’t want anything from you. I am 24 years old, I learned a long time ago that you were never going to change. Like they say, a leopard doesn’t change its spots. However, I want to make it quite clear, I am not the horrible person you think I am. I did not ask to be born, and I will not render you homeless, despite your preconceived notions.  I have decided that I am going to sell the house, as you cannot afford it and I am not enabling your gambling addiction. You will find somewhere else to live, wherever you please. I will not give you any money directly. But I will use part of the money from the selling of the house to pay your landlord directly. So, in a sense you will be getting a share of the house. However, there are conditions. This deal is only going for 10 years, after 10 years, you will pay your own bills and everything else. Once the 10 years are over, it will be your responsibility from then on”.

 

Noah looked at Oliver and then proceeded in a calm but negative undertone to his voice:

“You think this is fair I assume? Well, you should be paying everything! Sell the house, see if I care but do not think this makes up for anything. I do not owe you anything, Felicity”.

 

Oliver just glared at him and stated “You are lucky she was kind enough to do this. I know if it was me, I would not be this generous. Take it or leave it, this is the only offer you are getting.”

With that Noah left with the agreement that Felicity proposed. Before Oliver closed the door, Noah looked directly at Felicity saying, “see you around.”

 

********

 

As soon as he left Felicity started shaking, she wasn’t sure how she was feeling. All she knew was that she had all these thoughts around her head. Did he even care about the fact her mother had died? Does he care that his daughter has lost her mother? She knew the answer to her questions, and that was the catalyst.  


Oliver grabbed her hand.

 

“Felicity listen, I love you. Now, I know you are a ball of emotions right now. We are going to sit here, I am going to cuddle you until you feel safe again. Once you feel safe, we are going to go upstairs and you’re going to have a relaxing bath. You need to rest, and I know you aren’t sleeping, so you are going to go to bed with me.”

 

Felicity is thankful that Oliver is with her, if he hadn’t come back when he did she doesn’t know what the situation would have been like.  As they sit on the sofa, Felicity’s head resting on Oliver’s chest. She speaks up: “Can I ask you something?”

“Always, you can ask me anything.”

 

Feeling nervous. She then proceeds: “At the funeral, you said something to the coffin almost like you were talking to my mum. What did you say?”

 

Oliver, rested his chin on her head.

 

“I told her that what I think she would have wanted to hear. That she did a good job raising you. I promised I will take care of her baby.”

 

Felicity felt to tears welling in her eyes, she sits up and places her hands on his face. Leaning forward she kisses him, passionately but sweet, showing him how much she loves him. Oliver kissed her back, both pleading for more contact. When they finally separate, their noses do not part and Oliver whispers in her ear.

 

“I love you Felicity Smoak. For who you were, are and who you will become. I see you, I have always seen you and you’re remarkable”.  

 

Felicity smiled, he always knew what to say to her.

 

“Thank you for remarking on it, I love you too. Thank you, for being you”.

 

Oliver lifts Felicity in his arms, bridal style to head up the stairs to the bathroom. Oliver lit the purple lavender scented candles and filled the bath with bubbles. As she undressed, he swore to himself, in that moment she was the most beautiful person in the world and that he would marry Felicity Smoak one day.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was such a time delay between chapters 2 & 3.  
> It is now Christmas holidays so got more time, even though I should be revising.  
> Thank you to every single one of you who has taken the time to read my attempt of writing a coherent story.  
> I hope you stick around.   
> Hopefully you enjoy this chapter :D 
> 
> Feel free to contact me & follow :  
> Tumblr: SmoakingArrow19  
> Twitter: Iamsara97  
> Tumblr: turnupthemusicandscream


	4. "Yeah the reason I love you is all that we've been through And that's why I love you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience.  
> I hope you enjoy the newest update.  
> A big thank you to my wonderful Beta and friend @tdgal1 & forever thankful for the wonderful art work by @magda1102
> 
> I guess you have realised the reoccurring theme of song lyrics used for the chapter titles.  
> Have you worked out what the artist/song they are?  
> I feel this one is a little harder.  
> Let me know!!!!

 

  
**Chapter 4**  
  


Four days had passed since the incident at Oliver’s house with her father. Even though his showing up brought her insecurities and anxieties to the surface. Felicity was shocked with how at ease she was feeling, no longer did she worry about when Noah would turn up or what he was going to do. For the first time in years, Felicity finally felt at peace.

 

                        Oliver had taken the four days off, since Noah’s unwelcomed appearances, to be there for Felicity. He was not naïve to believe that Felicity was fine, he knew she was strong. In fact, to Oliver Felicity was the strongest person he’d ever met. But he was aware that everyone has their kryptonite, and for Felicity, it was her father. Felicity didn’t fight Oliver with his overprotective caring for her, in fact, she was happy he was there because with him, she felt safe and home.

 

                        After the four days, he went back to work but decided to do shorter shifts from 09.00 -14.00. One of the many perks of working for his father is having the luxury to choose his hours, enabling him to wake her up to say goodbye in the mornings, without feeling bad. Felicity hated mornings and typically he found a pillow being thrown in his direction after waking her, and she’d return to her slumber. This meant that Felicity wouldn’t spend too much time alone, making him less guilty.

 

Felicity woke up today at 11am and decided she would catch up with her colleagues and ongoing projects while Oliver was in work. It was only logical, while he was in work, that she should also do some. That way she had him all to herself all evening, just how she liked it.

 

                        Felicity was on the couch, pen in her mouth with paperwork sprawled everywhere. Felicity was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even notice Oliver coming home. Oliver stood in the doorway watching her twiddle with her blonde hair that had fallen out of her usually tight and together looking ponytail. Watching her when she was working and in the zone filled him with pride and he couldn’t take his eyes away from her. Oliver slowly walked over to her, still oblivious to his presence, he bent down and kissed the back of her head. She instantly leaned in to his body as he held her from behind, they had fallen into a domestic bliss in the short time of being together. Him holding her felt so natural and instinctive that neither of them wanted to break the embrace.

 

                        Oliver sat down on the couch next to her as she instantly threw her paperwork to the floor.  Holding her they began to talk. Usually they would talk about each other’s day, work or, if Felicity was feeling particularly emotional, Oliver would talk and listen, even if he couldn’t physically do anything. Holding her and listening was enough to help her grief. Today though, he could feel something was off, something was different.

 

                        Oliver moved his position, so he could stare into her eyes and hold her hands. Felicity was avoiding his gaze, so he plucked up the courage to ask: “hey, are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Did something happen?”

 

Instantly she shuffled close to him, tightening her grip within his hands. Oliver instinctively started to rub along her thumb, a calming gesture he did started doing when they were younger.

 

As if all she needed was that bit of encouragement Felicity started to explain: “I was in your study earlier, going through my work emails, emailing CatCo, when I realised something… we haven’t discussed us, like what this is, what you want? Hell, I haven’t even worked out when I’m returning to National City. Then it hit me, I don’t even know if I want to go back. If I go back where does that leave us? Is there an official us or is this one of those things that happen in a Nicholas Sparks novel, and then we go home and return to our lives thinking about the one who got away? I am freaking out Oliver… is this real, us I mean? I have been driving myself crazy all day, if I leave that means this, we end but if I don’t then my work was for nothing. I don’t want to lose you, I only just got you back… I can’t lose you…”   (Oliver interrupts her tangent).

 

“Let me stop you there. I know we haven’t officially talked about us and what that means. I love you, I have always loved you, but I wanted to give you time to deal with everything. Pressuring you into something that you may not have wanted didn’t seem fair. I was giving you an out in case you realised it was your grief talking or whatever. I wanted you to make your mind up without feeling obligated to do so, if you had decided you didn’t want this… then I would have set you free. As painful as that would be, if it was for you I would do it. I did it once and I will do it again, I will always sacrifice myself to put you first. I am not stupid, I am aware you eventually must go back to work. However, I am hoping it is not too soon as I selfishly want to spend as much time with you as I can. Felicity, I am crazy about you, have been ever since you gave me that Haribo ring out in the garden. I knew then that seeing you smile is the only thing I need. I have loved you for years, you were my friend first and that will never change, but somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. I would marry you and move to National City in a heartbeat if that is what it takes to be with you. I need you to know that this is real. Felicity, trust me, trust us. You are my always, and I just want the chance to be yours”.

 

Felicity hadn’t even realised she has been crying until Oliver’s hand reached to her face and wiped away the rogue tears painted on her rosy cheeks. She took a few seconds to gather her thoughts: “so… does this mean Olicity is back? I may have overheard John whisper something to baby Sara at the restaurant… something along the lines of rooting for team Olicity. I personally thought it had a nice ring to it and Sara seemed to laugh, so it can’t be that bad right? This, us… is going to be difficult isn’t it? The long-distance thing, I can’t expect you to uproot your entire life. Not when I uprooted mine just to get away from my father and his addiction. It wouldn’t be fair to you, you have family and friends here. Plus, I am 99.9% certain your sister would kill me. Mind, a few shopping trips may sway her judgement and keep me alive. I am going off topic… either way, I am not going to let you move to National City”.

 

Oliver started laughing, the kind of belly laugh which made Felicity get butterflies in her tummy. It was her favourite sound in the world, nothing has ever come close to beating it. He kissed her nose.

 

 “Fe-li-ci-ty, hun… Thea could never hate you. I will let you in on a secret, to win her over, all you would have to do is buy her the Gossip Girl box set. She quite literally will be your slave if you require it of her.  I am not joking, I broke her favourite crystal hedgehog that some guy named Roy got her. I begged for her forgiveness for a week, you know what made her forgive me? The Gilmore Girls box set, she hadn’t shut up about for weeks, so it became an easy out. After that she never brought up Harold the Hedgehog again. Mind, Thea idolises you, she looks up to you and I am sure she prefers you to me. If anything, she would use her savings and buy me a plane ticket to get me to you sooner. However, you need to hear me when I say, this isn’t going to be an easy ride while we work things out. You being there, me being here… hard yes, impossible no, and don’t they say nothing good in life ever comes easy? … and I know for a fact that you are not good. You are the best, Felicity Smoak. I would sell my left kidney before I would let anything come between us ever again. I love you, forever and always”.

 

Felicity was frozen, her heart beating a hundred miles per hour, her mind racing through all the words he just said. Her mouth just didn’t seem to form any coherent words. She was gobsmacked that he would be willing to uproot his entire life for her. No one has ever loved her like he does, she just couldn’t contain her happiness.

 

“Okay… first, I love you too.  I am obviously going to have to arrange a flight back to National City, but I am sure my boss will let me use my holiday days to stay longer than originally planned. My manager, Lena and I are actually great friends, so I know she won’t have any issues”. We can work out the niggly bits and iron out the kinks as we go on. You know, if you asked me to stay… I know that I would. I am afraid of losing myself in you, but I also know that we found ourselves in each other. I now know that my heart was never really mine, it has always been yours Oliver. I want us to move in together, to get married, have many beautiful Queen children and grow old in your arms where I belong. Mind, I expect you to still do the salmon ladder at least once a week for me when we are old and wrinkly. You know, some people have this maternal instinct, they just know that they want to be a mother. I was never like that, maybe it is because of how I grew up… but I never wanted children, I suppose I was scared I was too damaged. But you, Oliver Jonas Queen, make me feel safe and I want to have everything with you.”

 

Oliver cupped her face with his hands, slowly leaning forward to place a delicate kiss to her lips, but it quickly turned into a passionate kiss filled with love. Both wordlessly trying to convey how they feel through a simple kiss, all his emotion was put into that kiss, showing her that he wants the same as her. He wants her to be Mrs Felicity Queen. This isn’t anything new for him. Since he was 16, he wanted Felicity as his wife but lost all hope of it ever being possible until now. Now, in this moment he knew he would never let her go again.

  
  


******

 

The next morning, Felicity got up and instantly rang her manager, Miss Lena Luthor. Lena was, as she expected, was very supportive.  Lena knew about Felicity and Oliver and wanted this happiness for her friend. Lena and Felicity used this time to catch up and fill each other in with what they missed. Lena explained she already told the boss Cat Grant that Felicity wouldn’t be back yet anyways. Lena said Cat was pleasantly okay with it, but Felicity knew that meant poor Kara Danvers would have her work cut out for her. Cat and Lena had agreed to Felicity returning to work a week Monday, and Cat would make do with ‘Kiera’ as she called her, in her absence. Felicity didn’t often work for Miss Grant directly, but every second Friday she would join her meetings, take notes and try to develop her learning. As today was Friday, she could enjoy a full weekend and another week before catching her flight home Sunday morning.

 

After hanging up on Lena, Felicity decided she would surprise Oliver with a party for his birthday. He was turning 26 on Saturday and a surprise birthday party would be a great way to show her appreciation for all he did for her.  The surprise video for her mother still brought tears to her eyes.  Looking through the address book she found in Oliver’s study, she found many names she knew but a vast amount she didn’t. Knowing what a private person Oliver was, Felicity knew he would only want his close friends and family in his home., All he needed in his life were those he was close to who knew and understood him.  Felicity wanted him to be celebrated, he had done so much to help her, he was there in her darkest of times with no complaint. Rationally, she knew he didn’t need or want anything in return. But, still, she wanted to throw him a birthday party to show how much he means to her and how thankful she was for the surprise video montage of her mother. She knew she could never repay him or come close to being able to top that beautiful gesture, but she wanted to show her appreciation nonetheless.

 

As Felicity was sat on the grey satin covers of his bed, she looked at the names of those invited. Felicity skimmed over once again to make sure she hadn’t missed anyone, so far, she had asked: Moira and Robert Queen, Thea, Tommy, The Lance family.  Laurel and Quentin had promised to come but they couldn’t speak for Sara. As soon as she got their confirmation, she rung Sara Lance instantly. It had been too long since her and Sara saw one another. Sara was competing around the country, winning all kind of medals and awards in mixed martial arts. Felicity was proud of her friend, beyond happy she was living out her dream. However, she would be lying if she said she doesn’t miss seeing her best friend whenever she pleased. Sara is constantly training or competing, which makes it hard as she is always traveling and doesn’t stay in one state for long. Felicity made it a quick call as was rewarded with a yes from Sara.  Sara had already scheduled a vacation and trip to see her family and she was thrilled to spend time with Felicity.  The party worked out perfectly to fit her scheduled visit.

John Diggle was next on the list.  His restaurant would be the place to find him. The Overwatch restaurant was only a short walk away from Oliver’s home. It was a welcomed breath of fresh air and she decided to go down the naturistic pathway. She knew it would be a longer route but there was something about walking in the Starling City nature that made her feel at peace. Once Felicity reached the restaurant, upon opening the door she saw Lyla, John’s wife at the reception desk. She was looking in the direction of her daughter, who was colouring in a picture of the Green Arrow, The Flash and Supergirl on the table. Felicity smiled at baby Sara and walked towards Lyla, instantly Lyla embraced her in a tight hug.

 

“Felicity, I am so glad you are here. John and I were worried we had missed you and that you had returned home already. We at least wanted to say goodbye, but hey, never mind you’re here”. Lyla took a breath as she kept her eye on Sara.

“John has popped out, he had an errand to run and will be back shortly. He will be so happy to see you again. Heck, he hasn’t shut up about you and how happy he has seen Oliver lately.”

 

Felicity played with her hands feeling a little awkward. Which was ridiculous as she wasn’t oblivious to Oliver being happy. It was just strange to hear someone comment on it and imply you’re the cause.

 

“He is happy, isn’t he? I hope so, he makes me happy… anyways, I was hoping to catch you both. I don’t know if you’re aware, but it is Oliver’s birthday tomorrow. I was hoping you both would come to the little party I am throwing him. It is nothing too extravagant, but I promise there will be cake, ice cream and of course alcoholic beverages to consume. I promise I won’t be baking the cake, I would give everyone food poisoning, or end up burning down Oliver’s house. I know it is rather short notice, but I was hoping you could come, it’ll be fun… I promise”.

Before Felicity had a chance to add anymore, she was thinking about throwing in some bribery when she heard John’s voice interrupt her.

 

“Yes, yes we will be there Felicity. We wouldn’t miss it for the world, but you better deliver on this cake you’ve promised.”

 

“Holy fracking hell. . . John, you scared the life out of me. You need a bell on you, to warn people you’re there before you give someone a heart attack. Seriously, if I was of the weak hearted I would have died right here in your restaurant of a cardiac arrest”.

 

John was the first to start laughing, the other two shortly followed. It wasn’t awkward or forced but the pleasant kind where it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Before Felicity had the chance to register what was going on, she looked down to see Sara jumping up and down in front of her.

 

“Mummy, daddy… please can I go to uncle Ollivur’’s party? Ple-ple-ple-pleeeeeeeaaaaasssseeee?”

 

Lyla and John looked at each other, then towards Felicity before answering the little girl with her big pleading brown eyes. Lyla knelt to be the same level as Sara.

 

“Well, honey. You see Felicity is organising this, so you will have to politely ask her if she would mind a little crazy princess tagging along”.

 

Instantly, Sara gazed at Felicity with the cutest puppy dog eyes she ever saw.

 

“Flis… Flisity, pwease can I come? I promise to be a good girl. The bestest. Pretty please?”

 

Felicity bent down, smiling at her while taking her tiny hand in hers.

 

“Of course, you can come sweetie. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t tell your mum and dad, but secretly I wanted you to come and knew I had to invite them and pretend that they were my first choice, so you could come. Shhhh… don’t tell them I said that though, our little secret.”

 

Sara started giggling and gave Felicity her pinky finger, making a silent promise not to tell her parents what she had said. Even though Felicity was fully aware they heard every word she gave Sara her pinky finger in return. If it made Sara happy then she was all for it. Sara lunged herself at Felicity, giving her what could only be described as a bear hug. She returned the hug and felt herself thinking about her hugging her own child, a child with Oliver. Her heart started to melt and yearn for that, she knew in her bones that Oliver would be a good father, not like her father and she didn’t want to wait any longer. She wanted a family with Oliver, with her Oliver.

 

As she looked up, she noticed John and Lyla were standing over them, smirking to each other. It was as if there was an inside joke between them that she wasn’t in on, or that they knew something that she didn’t. Which was scary, but she didn’t care, her mind was preoccupied with her revelation.  

 

Felicity exchanged numbers with the Diggle’s, made harder by little Sara in her arms but she was not letting Sara out of her arms. She didn’t mind in the slightest, Sara was only a little dot of a thing. Felicity was pretty sure her hair weighed more than her body. John looked at Felicity with a face of concern:

           

“ummm… I was just wondering, how exactly are you going to set this all up to throw him a party without him noticing”?

 

“John, I am very happy you asked that, I was kind of hoping, well, banking on you to distract him for me. If you came around and said you needed him for something important, I can sort the house while he’s out”.

 

John couldn’t help the smile that was evident on his face.

 

“Oh, I see, so you need me to distract him, here I thought you wanted me there. *chuckling* I am only pulling your leg, of course I will help. I will take him to the archery range, he won’t suspect a thing that way. It has been a while since we last went and his birthday is a perfect excuse. However, I swear, Smoak. If he puts an arrow in me for not telling him, I will hold you personally accountable”.

 

Sara gave Felicity a super big hug and went back to her table with her colouring as she said goodbye to the Diggle’s. With the Diggle’s included, everyone Oliver cared about would be with him for his birthday.  Checking her watch, she realized how much time passed by making it close to Oliver’s return from work. How is she going to keep this a secret from Oliver? She may as well make the distraction she needed fun for both. As she entered the front door she let out a: “Oh boy, tonight is going to be fun” with a chuckle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found myself inspired all over again, so this has taken a turn. I think for the better but other may not.  
> My original plan has been scrapped and the new seed has been planted.  
> I hope you all stick around and see how this unravels.
> 
> As always, thank you!  
> Tumblr: smoakingarrow19  
> Twitter: Iamsara97  
> Tumblr: whoissaraanyways
> 
> xoxo  
> S


	5. 'cause we were just kids in love, not knowing what it was, I will not give you up this time.

 

_ Oliver’s birthday arrived. _

  
Felicity woke up at 7am with a huge grin on her face in bed with Oliver on his birthday. This feels so right like this is where she was meant to be. She turned her body to face him, her eyes taking in every freckle, wrinkle and, blemish across his clean-shaven face, taking a moment to remember the pure happiness she is feeling. Relief flooded over her at the realisation  that she won’t have to keep a secret from Oliver for much longer. Reminding herself that she has a really good reason keeps her from feeling to guilty about keeping something from him This is not deceit or a lie that got out of hand, it is merely to show the man she loves how valued and important he is. Of course, to keep her from blurting it out, she uses one form of distraction - sexOliver and her always have wonderful, mind- blowing sex but the passion and love while falling apart together last night, was something she couldn’t describe. In her eyes, sex with Oliver is a bonus. Felicity is more than happy to have sex with him, anywhere, any time, anyways, isn’t pre-birthday sex a thing?  

Felicity leans over Oliver to kiss his forehead, slowly kissing every inch of his face waking him up from his slumber. Between each kiss, she whispers “hap-py birth-day ol-i-ver jo-nas qu-een”.   

Oliver responds by pulling her in closer and giving her a deeper kiss, showing how much he loves her and how thankful he is to wake up in the best possible way, next to her. 

“Did I mention, happy birthday handsome? What are your plans for the big day?” 

“I believe you did mention it between giving me a wonderful morning wake up call. As it is my birthday, I request you wake me up every morning the same way”. 

Giggling, Felicity couldn’t hide her smile -. 

“I, well, usually I don’t do anything on my birthday I guess.Thea comes over and we go for food. We usually walk around trying to decide ending up at John and Lyla’s place. But, Thea told me a few days ago she couldn’t make it home this year”.  Seeing the sadness in his eyes as Oliver tries to hide his disappointment almost makes Felicity break. Then she realizes the surprise will be even sweeter for him.   
  


“That sucks, I am sure she will come to visit as soon as she can. Looks like you’re stuck with me then”, winking at him she saucily replies.

“Well, I guess it is just you and me. “ Pecking a kiss on her lips. “Which, luckily for me is exactly what I want today, and every day. It also helps that you’re not too bad on the eyes”. 

Felicity gives him a stern look, pretending to be annoyed by his words. Knowing he’s teasing her she decides to play him at his own game.  

“Ah, that’s a shame… I am sure I made plans to go out all day. Wouldn’t want you to have to stare at me all day now, would I? I was even going to be the best girlfriend ever treating you to morning birthday sex throwing in some night time fun. But hey, I don’t mind… I guess I’ll just go shopping. You’re out of luck Mr”.  

Felicity started to pull the covers from her, making it look like she was leaving to get dressed. Her eyes  spark while her mouth displays something that resembles the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. 

Raising his eyebrows at her, Oliver begs, “damn, you know I love morning sex… please come back to our bed? Fe-li-ci-ty, I am sorry, I promise I can make it up to you, in more ways than one if you lay back down with me”. 

Chucking, she walks towards him, crawling on his lap to place a kiss to his forehead and rest hers against his. 

 

“You are my favourite person in the whole world. You know that? I also love that it is so easy to wind you up, Mr Queen. However, after this we are going down to have breakfast.  I have some work to do. My boss wants a few things emailed to her by 15:15 and doesn’t take into consideration that my boyfriend wants my attention on his birthday…. So, you Mr, are going to have to find a playmate to occupy yourself while I am indisposed.” 

******* 

Oliver is about to stop Felicity from cleaning up after him, even it was his birthday he still enjoyed looking after her, when he gets a text  He glances at his phone. 

“Everything alright, hun?” 

“Yeah, great actually…. As luck would have it, that was from John. He wants company on his run and wants a rematch at the archery range. Should I say yes? That way you can do your work while I’m gone and then you will be all mine when I am home”. 

Oliver places his hands on her waist kissing her with sweet and caring kisses. Pulling her in, she moans when she is close enough that she feels his abs pressed against her body. 

“Sounds absolutely perfect. Go enjoy yourself with John… I just hope you win, because grumpy Oliver on his birthday doesn’t sound too appealing. Although I do know how to turn that frown upside down, don’t I?”  

Oliver places another kiss on her cheek  smiling at her, this smile is the one he only ever uses for her. It could make Felicity melt in an instant and confess to a murder she did not commit. She is a sucker for this man.  

Oliver runs upstairs to change and pack his bow and arrow ready.  As he comes down the stairs, he hears the doorbell. Felicity is already at the door welcoming John in. Oliver crept behind her, kissing the back of her head. 

“I’ll see you soon. I love you.” 

Walking behind Oliver to the car, John turns around giving Felicity a secret smile showing he has this under control. She waves back and shuts the front door.  

  
*******

John parks the car outside the archery range and they begin to dig out their archery gear. Once inside, they stand side by side in separate stalls. Both men take their aim and begin to chat like old times. 

“So, how come you decided to do this today?” 

“Well, it is your birthday so I thought we should do something you enjoy plus I wanted to catch up  checking in you know”. 

“I see, well everything is really good with me. I genuinely cannot remember being this happy in years” Oliver  pauses “I am a bit gutted that Thea isn’t coming home to celebrate but having Felicity here makes it not so bad.” 

“I am sure Thea will come home soon. She can’t stay away from my rhubarb crumble for more than a month. She’ll be running back in approximately a week, maximum.”  John chuckles.

“That is true I suppose, she hasn’t been back in a month, so she is definitely due for her visit to Overwatch”.  Oliver agrees.

“So, you and Felicity?  for as long as I have known you, you have been guarded, in love and longing for someone else. Since meeting Felicity Smoak, I finally see why you never got over her. She is a smart and kind woman. Honestly man, why you let her go is beyond me… oh that and why she chose you when you’re way out of her league, not in a good way as in she is the better one in this whole thing”. 

Laughing: “You know what, I cannot even try to disagree with you. I am very lucky with her and she is brilliant, intelligent, caring, loving and pure light and why she would ever be with me is beyond my understanding. But I love her John, like I would jump in front of a bullet for her kind of love. I want to marry her, heck I would do it right now if I had the chance”. 

“What is stopping you?” 

“I don’t think it is the right time. I know that I want her, but I want her to know that she feels the same without a shadow of doubt. I can’t rush it with her. After all, she has her demons which I am fighting. It wouldn’t be fair to her. It would only bring up her insecurities and I can’t lose her. Not again, I couldn’t take it if I let her go again”. 

John nods, “I see man, just remember that she loves you and no matter what, she is not her past and neither are you. You both deserve each other and to live a happy life”.  

“Thanks John, it is crazy but I wake up every morning checking for her to make sure this isn’t all some kind of dream. I see her typing away, being the genius that she is and all I can think about is how she would look sitting there with a baby, our baby. I have been in love with Felicity for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t like one day I knew it… it was a gradual process and all at once I knew that my life would never be the same. I knew I would always choose her happiness over mine, every time”.  

“Hey, this time you are choosing both of your happiness. You are made for one another”. 

“I know. How are Lyla and my favorite niece in the whole wide world?” 

“Lyla has been well, she was complaining the other night that we don’t see our friends enough. So I promised I’d arrange a dinner date with the four of us in the week. Would that be cool?” 

“Of course, obviously I will check with Felicity but she isn’t going to say no to food and great company. Although, what are you going to tell Sara? We both know she won’t be impressed if she finds out she isn’t coming”. 

“Sounds good, Wednesday is best for us and don’t you worry about my daughter. She has already been given a better deal. She is happy to stay with the sitter with the bribery we have in place”. 

“Dig, bribery and corruption. tut tut.. I like it”.  

Oliver and John both take their last aim, fire their arrows as Oliver hits the middle of the target. Dig  deems Oliver as the reigning champion, 8 times in a row. John shakes his head. He knew he didn’t stand a chance, but he still liked to play. Plus, John whoops his butt when they go the shooting range. They equal each other out so there is no real competitiveness as they are friends, just enjoying sports.  

“Just for the record. Oliver, we both know if this was the shooting range you’d be annihilated. But as it is your birthday, your sport gets played.” 

Oliver shakes his hand 

“Good game, and you’re right but it still doesn’t make beating you at this any less fun”. 

…… 

Meanwhile, Lyla and Sara walk over to help Felicity with decorating the house for the party. Sara is colouring in the ‘Happy Birthday’ banner for Oliver.  Lyla is sorting out the kitchen with the food and alcohol. Felicity is putting up the decorations. She decided to go with a green and white colour scheme as the alternative was pink balloons everywhere. After the finalisation with the banner Sara had coloured, the house was all nicely decorated. 

  
Suddenly, rang revealing Caitlin and her boyfriend. Caitlin is one of Felicity and Oliver’s friends from school. Felicity gave Caitlin the job of collecting the birthday cake, and she did not disappoint. Felicity picked a chocolate cake with a green arrow tip on and had frosting around the side.  Felicity tells Ronnie, Caitlin’s partner to place it on the table in the kitchen.    


Now that all the decorating is done, the girls can get down to the real business of getting dressed up. Ronnie is required to watch baby Sara while the other 3 vacate upstairs.     
  


An hour later, the girls return looking gorgeous and elegant. Lyla is in a blue off shoulder dress, showing off her figure with her brown hair down, with some slight curls. Caitlin is wearing a red and navy striped dress with her long curly hair flowing down her shoulders. Finally Felicity is in a red sleeveless panelled bustier dress, with her hair  straightened half up and half down. She is breathtakingly beautiful deciding to wear her make up as natural as possible with a glowy undertone and opted for her contact lenses for the occasion. 

15 minutes later the guests start to arrive beginning with Thea Queen.   
Thea wanted to be the first to everything and she hasn’t  seen Felicity in years. So a catch up before the party was a necessity.  Being early was the way to facilitate both. Shortly behind Thea was Laurel and Tommy, followed by Oliver’s parents. After the Queen’s Felicity lost track. Felicity was too busy catching up with Oliver’s family to realize how many people came to celebrate Oliver’s birthday. 

Around 17:45, the guests stop chattering. It was time to quiet down as they are expecting John and Oliver within the next 10 minutes. 

  
-2 minutes later.-

  
Everyone is focused on the sound of the key unlocking the front door. The door swings open and with it the entourage of guests shout “surprise” at the top of their lungs. Oliver just stands there, in his jeans and plain tee perplexed. He doesn’t know how to react, there were so many people in his house and he had no idea how to react. John taps his shoulder whispering “surprise dude, happy birthday, and, in case I didn’t mention before, Felicity is the best thing to ever happen to you. This was all her”. Oliver walks forward trying to find her in the crowd as he   locks eyes on the woman he loves. Felicity was hidden amongst the ocean of people. He finds her talking to his sister, Thea, but she is simultaneously staring at Oliver trying to work out whether he likes the surprise or not. 

Oliver greets a few people on his way over to his sister and Felicity. Oliver instantly wraps his arms around Felicity bringing her closer to him and whispers into her ear: “Thank you for this, I don’t deserve you. I love you”.    
  


Felicity pulls away to look into his eyes and she would swear she could see tears forming. She leans forward for a chaste kiss. Oliver lets go of Felicity then leans into his little sister. He is gobsmacked that his two favourite women  lied to him about all of this.    
He is so happy to see Thea that he doesn't care they kept it a secret. He hasn’t seen Thea in what felt like forever and even though he wouldn’t admit it, he was gutted that he thought he wouldn’t see her on his birthday. Thea gives Oliver a hug saying: “I fooled ya didn’t i? You thought I wouldn’t come home to see my big brother Ollie on his birthday. You really are a fool”.    
  
Oliver is so happy he could burst. Hugging Thea a little tighter and then releasing her instantly intertwining his hand with Felicity’s. Moira and Robert come over to the three of them, instantly embracing Felicity. 

“I am sorry to hear about your mother. I know that we didn’t always see eye to eye, which was due to our difference in opinions regarding your best interests regarding Noah, but I do know that she loved you with all her heart and I am so sorry this happened”.

  
Felicity smiles 

  
“Thank you Moira. I really appreciate it but today is about your son and no more talk of me or my family. I insist Oliver is the only topic of conversation”.

  
Today was only about showing the love of her life how important and loved he is, not just by her but by their community. 

After Oliver  greets his guests, Felicity decides it is time to bring out the birthday cake. Going into the kitchen with Thea, they starts to light the candles while Oliver is busy conversing with Ronnie and Caitlin. Thea dims the lights and everyone started singing “happy birthday to you….” 

 

Felicity carries the cake to Oliver and he just smiles at her in admiration.

 

“make a wish”. 

 

Oliver closes his eyes blowing out the candles, Oliver is so content in life at that exact moment that he could only think of one wish and that was for the woman standing right in front of him would become his wife one day. That is all he could ever hope and wish for. 

Everybody is dancing and enjoying the music when Baby Sara comes  running up to him.   


“unkle olivur. Do you like my pwetty dress? I picked it myself. Mama said I could dress up too coz I am a big girl now”    
  


Oliver chuckles, looking down at the sweet little girl with a sparkly pink dress on, bending down to lift her into his arms.    
  


“I am gonna let you in on a little secret. You are the prettiest little girl in the room”.  
  
“olivur. I am the only little girl in the room. That’s not fair”.  
  


“Okay then, you are by far the sparkliest, prettiest princess I ever met”.   
  


Sara leans in giving Oliver an open mouthed kiss on his cheek. 

Felicity happens to catch this exchange and can’t help but grin. Seeing Oliver with Sara makes her tummy go wild with butterflies, not the kind where she wants to run away but the kind where she can see a future with Oliver. Hell, she could see him with their children. She couldn’t deny that she wanted that, not even to herself. Every fibre of being is shouting out that she wants children, she wants his children. She wants to wake up every single day next to him for the rest of her life.     
  


As if Oliver could feel the presence of her eyes, he stares  at her telling Sara to give a big wave to her. Instantly, Baby Sara wriggles  down from Oliver and runs over to hug Felicity. Felicity automatically picks Sara up in her arms.    
  


“flissity, you look so so so so so pretty. You look like Cinderella at the ball. I think unkle Olivur loves you. Will you be my auntie? I don’t have an auntie. I would like you to be my auntie. You do cool parties”    
  


Felicity is stumped.or the first time in a while she didn’t know what to say. With that, John comes over taking the little girl off her.    
  


“Sara, have you been pestering poor Felicity? Anyways, little one, it is time for you to go home and go to sleep. Your nana is waiting for you”.    
  


In her daddy’s strong arms, Sara blows Felicity a kiss while waving her hand furiously as John walks away collecting her belongings.

It wasn’t until 23.40 that the guests made themselves scarce, with the exception of Lyla and John. Felicity had done most of cleaning throughout the night, leaving her less to do in the morning. Oliver sneaks up behind Felicity,who is holding a bin bag full of paper plates and cups, wrapping his arms around her he picks her up swinging  her round, making her gasp and drop the bag. Oliver just laughs dropping her down to the floor. He starts leading her to the sofa next to where John and Lyla are, placing her on his lap. She snuggled into him.    
  


“you know what would be fun?”, said John.   
  


In unison the remaining three asked : “what?”   
  


“a game of monopoly? “   
  


Felicity and Oliver laughed with each other.   
  


“The last time we played monopoly together we nearly ended our friendship, ask Sara or Tommy. Seriously, he turned into a three year old because I bankrupt him. “   
  


“haha, okay then, how about a good classic game of charades?”   


The four of them played a few rounds of charades and then John and Lyla headed home leaving Oliver and Felicity to finally have some alone time.  

Felicity led the way to the bedroom, with Oliver following behind her and she put on Oliver’s favourite film, ‘Die Hard”. The film had barely started when he turned and looked at her.   
  


“What? Have I got something on my face?”   
  


“No, I am just looking to make sure this is real, that you are real. And here.”   


“Of course I am. You’re a fool.”   
  


Oliver cuddled into her, when Felicity piped up.

  
“You know, I saw you with baby Sara earlier”   


“Yeah? She is the cutest little thing, isn’t she?”   
  


“She most certainly is. I couldn’t help but notice how good you are with her. She is such a sweet kid.”   
  


“I have known her since the day she was born, she is a little firecracker and, besides Thea, she is the only baby I have experienced.”   


“Do you want kids? Sorry I shouldn’t have asked. I just, sorry.”  Felicity stops as she thinks about what she just assumed.

 

Oliver looked up at her and placed his hands on her cheeks.   
  


“I do want kids. You have every right to ask, as it is you I want to have kids with. I want to be the father to your children Felicity. I don’t want them unless I can have them with you. ”   


“Really? You have thought about this?”   
  


“Yeah, I guess I just knew. When you came back into my life I knew there and then that I would only ever want you to be the mother of my children.”    


“You know it may sound crazy, but watching you with Sara made me realise how much I want your babies.  I was never one to dream of motherhood, it wasn’t something I strived for . I know in my heart that I want to carry your children, Oliver.”   
  


“If I have my way you will have many of my babies, Miss Smoak.”  as they play with each other’s hands.

  
  
“I can imagine us having a little girl, she would have your gorgeous natural curls and would be a little mini you. She would be too smart for me, but she would still love her daddy. A mini you would have me wrapped around her finger. I don’t think I could say no to her.”   
  


“You aren’t dumb Oliver, you just didn’t apply yourself like you could have. But, yes, you stand no chance at discipling our children. You cannot even say no to me, let alone any future children.”   
  


Oliver pecks her lips as he lays on top of her, careful not to put too much weight on her beautiful body. Felicity responds by deepening the kiss.    
  


“How about we practice for our future babies, Miss Smoak?”    
  


“You know what they say, practice makes perfect”. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> It has been a while since I updated but I have had a lot going on.  
> Not sure how many chapters are left but I will be trying to finish this fic soon.  
> Thank you to every single one of you who have read this!
> 
> Feel free to chat to me:  
> Tumblr: turnupthemusicandscream or smoakingarrow19

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever attempt at writing something.  
> So, thank you for giving it a chance.  
> I hope you like it & I have some chapters already done.  
> However, writing more will depend on time & whether anyone actually likes it enough to read more.
> 
> Feel free to contact me and let me know what you think:  
> Tumblr: SmoakingArrow19  
> Twitter: Iamsara97


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